Tough Talks (Part 1): Why Have Tough Talks?

A NEW SMALL GROUP FORMAT

For this series, Tough talks, we invite your group to a choose your own adventure of sorts. Each week we are inviting your group to choose 2 of the multiple options below. First pick questions from either the STUDY or PROCESS. After that, choose either PRAY or PRACTICE with your group to culminate into your group discussion. Our hope each week is you “talk it out” and “live it out” in a way that makes sense to your group. 

  • Since this might be your group's first time together in the new year, we want to encourage y’all to share what was your favorite moment or a moment of wonder you had over the break. 

We are jumping into a new series this week called Tough Talks. Iit seems that when Jesus spoke about the life of God, Jesus spent a decent amount of time speaking about the need to approach others, especially those who are hard to approach or converse with in this life. In light of this, it seems Jesus believes that if we enter into difficult conversations for the sake of a deeper connection, we will simultaneously enter into a deeper connection with God as well. 

READ Matthew 5:21-26 together 

PART 1 – TALK IT OUT → CHOOSE ONE (STUDY OR PROCESS)

A. TO STUDY

  • What is the significance between Jesus saying, “you’ve heard it said…but I say to you”? 

  • Jesus seems to suggest that the quality of our relationship with other people is a higher priority than paying certain kinds of obligations to god…How seriously do you/we take this? What does this tell us? 

  • What’s a modern day equivalent to the example Jesus gives to settling matters quickly with your adversary? 

  • How do you explain the description, “you will not get out till you’ve paid the last penny”? 

B. TO PROCESS

  • Who in your circle of relationship do you tend to delay in addressing and let things escalate?

  • What’s a topic/relational dragon that seems most avoided either in your relationship with your spouse, family, friends, co-workers, etc.? Why is that topic a culprit to you having a tough talk?

  • What parts of your life/story tend to reinforce your desire to avoid hard conversations or to take on hard conversations in ways that will on make them worse or more contentious?

PART 2 – LIVE IT OUT → CHOOSE ONE (PRAY OR PRACTICE) 

A. TO PRACTICE

Jesus provides two examples of how to practically respond to folks in relationship with you that are hard to converse with or conform. Let’s get to how we practically move forward… 

  • Who in your life do you have inner or outer dialogue about that shows relational disconnection? Who gets you fired up and not thinking or acting kindly?

    • How can you practice a different approach? What would it look like for you to go great lengths in addressing the disconnection you share with someone? 

  • Think of someone close to you who you think might have something against you whether you are sure or not. We all have that person who we feel has started treating us differently OR who has not been as kind to us lately OR who has just not been a part of our life as much. 

    • What are you most afraid of in regards to that tough talk?

B. TO PRAY

We want to invite your group to simply spend this time praying together for clarity about who the person in your life is that you need to have a tough talk with using the prompts below: 

  • Spend time in prayer repenting of a situation in the past where you avoided a tough talk. 

  • Spend time in prayer asking God to help you to see where anger needs to be addressed quickly. 

  • Spend time in prayer asking God to heal our world of all the anger that’s led to war, violence, and pain. 


Matt DeLano